The Light FantasticBook - 1990
When the very fabric of time and space are about to be put through the wringer - in this instance by the imminent arrival of a very large and determinedly oncoming meteorite - circumstances require a very particular type of hero. Sadly what the situation does not need is a singularly inept wizard, still recovering from the trauma of falling off the edge of the world. Equally it does not need one well-meaning tourist and his luggage which has a mind of its own. Which is a shame because that's all there is...
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"Rincewind stared, and knew that there were far worse things than Evil. All the demons in Hell would torture your very soul, but that was precisely because they valued souls very highly; evil would always try to steal the universe, but at least it considered the universe worth stealing. But the gray world behind those empty eyes would trample and destroy without even according its victims the dignity of hatred. It wouldn’t even notice them."
"Silly to have imagined that the Things would have come marching out of a sort of rip in the sky, waving mandibles and tentacles. That was old-fashioned stuff, far too risky. Even nameless terrors learned to move with the times."
"“I don’t blame you. It’sh hard to be a hero with no teethsh. It don’t matter what elsh you loosh, you can get by with one eye even, but you show ’em a mouth full of gumsh and no one hash any reshpect.”"
"The wizards looked at one another, embarrassed. Eventually Wert said, “Yes. All right. Cards on the table. I can’t seem to locate him.”
“I’ve tried scrying,” said another. “Nothing.”
“I’ve sent familiars,” said a third. The others sat up. If confessing failure was the order of the day, then they were damn well going to make it clear that they had failed heroically."
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